The first idea he came up with was dinner out. Not that how much money spent matters, but I'm spending $300 on his V Day present. It just doesn't seem on the same level as my gift for one. On top of it, it's something that doesn't even have any sentiment to it. It's not like he thought of it, knowing me and what I like, and thought it was a good idea. It's just a generic dinner. Not even at like a special place or a restaurant of value to us, you know? He knows that I'm a really sentimental person, and that I like sentimental things. I reminded him of that, and I told him why this V Day was so important to me. So he suggested going to a local ski lodge here for a night. Well that was a GREAT idea! It was romantic, sweet, sentimental for us, just perfect. It would have cost $250 for us to spend a night, including our room, dinner, activities, extra money, etc. Then he turned around and said we didn't have the money for it. Well, first of all, I handle the finances, and we have more than enough money for it. He doesn't handle the money so he wouldn't even know. And it just makes me mad that he'd suggest it if he thought we didn't have the money or didn't want to for some reason. It just seems like he doesn't want to but he won't tell me why. So he asked me if there was anything I wanted. Well I mentioned wanting a really nice pair of diamond and pearl earrings, but I said right away that it probably wasn't a good idea that he try to buy that for me, since he doesn't know much about jewelry, and what I was thinking of was probably going to be more expensive than it would have been to go to the ski lodge (girls, you know about jewelry). So he takes that and shows me several different pairs of earrings, and 1. I don't like them and 2. they're not diamonds and pearls. He doesn't understand. Girls, you know how it is with jewelry. I would rather have a few really nice really classic pieces of jewelry that I can wear with anything. Diamonds and pearls are great for that because they can go with anything! He also knows I like sapphires (my birthstone). Well he shows me jewelry that's more expensive than the ski lodge and isn't what I said I was looking for at all (even after I told him that guys buying jewelry isn't a good idea). So then he's trying to show me other stuff. Basically Amazon has a suggested V Day gift list. He's just picking stuff off that list. I asked him why he picked some of the things, and he goes "because it's not jewelry." Not because you like this, because I thought that. It's like hollow. And he SERIOUSLY sent me a link to a litter box. For V Day??? A litter box? He wants to get me a litter box?
God I just want a present that has MEANING to it. I tell him that, but he does NOT get it. Even if he just made a scrapbook of pictures I would be ECSTATIC. And him suggesting the ski lodge, then going against it because it's too expensive, and then showing me more expensive stuff just confuses and frustrates me. It's like he wants me to verbally tell him what I want for Valentine's Day. I am really not that difficult about it either. He knows what I like. I like pictures, picture frames, scrapbooks, sentimental stuff, you know? Just simple stuff that has meaning to it. I told him that my V Day gift would be just having him home to end the absurdity (because I really wanted to tell him to f*** off after the litter box incident but I didn't). He really seems to be trying hard but he just sucks at V Day ideas. What should I do? 
You guys are really awful. ENOUGH of the sexual comments. And to the person who is telling me what to do for him, can't you READ? I have his V Day present all planned out for him. We are going to see his favorite sports team and he's actually going to get to meet his favorite sports player and get to tour the locker room with him!! And after that I planned for someone to come to our house and arrange a really romantic night for the two of us. Candles in the bedroom, etc.
Alright, so what does you getting laid off have to do with anything at all? We have 0 money problems, great job security, and we make 150k/year combined FYI so I don't know why you are saying it's about the $$$ when I clearly said it's NOT. I'd be happy with a darn scrapbook, but he isn't even capable of that.
WHY do you guys keep suggesting stuff for HIM? He has a GREAT V Day present planned already! Can't you guys READ?
Tingtown, 10 days later he'll be in another country, for crying out loud! That's why it matters!
You guys are all idiots. I'm seriously so wrong for NOT WANTING A LITTER BOX or something off a GENERIC AMAZON LIST? I just want something that is SENTIMENTAL and shows that he thought of ME because this is the ONLY chance we will get to spend together for another 6 months. And he can't even put together a SCRAPBOOK??? You guys just want to be jerks to whoever asks questions on here!!!!!
By: Paprika
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OK, but the point is – do you?
I wish my wife sucked at V Day.
It’s not a crime to not be great at picking out gifts. Give him a break. He is obviously trying his best to please you.
If you do your hair and make up and greet him at the door wearing sexy lingerie, there is no way he will not enjoy VD.
Stay in, order food, put in some erotica, give him a seductive oil massage. Be his girlfriend again. Don’t just look at VD as another birthday party for you and it will be a blast. TRUST ME
…unless you’re opposed to orgasms, then I just feel sorry for you.
Good luck, you’ll have fun!
Does he really, now? I just got laid off, and my wife understands we’ve got to be careful in these rough times ahead. Having a spouse who’s not high-maintanence, now THAT’S romantic.
Let him do and enjoy everything and do vice versa.
Since you are in charge of the finances, pick your own present and the surprise for him. Some men (including my husband) have never been a big “V Day man”. There is no crime in this ! I have always taken the money, picked out my own present and arranged a “dinner date” with him. If I had left this one up to him, he would have never thought of it ! You are newly married and I assume, you don’t have kids ! Make the memories last because once the kids are around, there will be hardly be any “extra spending” for Valentines’ Day. Make it simple, don’t assume and lower your expectations ! It sucks, I know, but to argue about “I wished you had thought of this and that”, take away even any anticipation ! Good luck !
You are over emphasizing one day out of your married year. Feel lucky, I got an ironing board on my first anniversary. Of course, he got it thrown at him!!! (All because I mentioned I needed one, and kept forgetting to pick it up when I was at the store)
Change you plans and go ahead and book the ski lodge instead and surprise him. If he had given you the litter box, years from now you and he would be having the best laugh about it , and a few more with friends. I can’t tell you how many times that ironing board has come up. Honestly, I don’t think I would have remembered anything else more vividly!!
The point is that you will be looking back at this and wonder what you ever worried so much about, in later years. Just enjoy your marriage and do like the rest of us—train him to do what you want!!! (it takes a few years, but it is worth it)
Whatever you decide to do, don’t hold a grudge for such an insignificant few hours of the rest of your lives together. It is just not worth it.
Don’t start the marriage with the “bar” raised so high. Then you will have nothing to look forward to, but less. Let him gradually build up to that 25th year anniversary present that knocks your socks off.
Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope that you and your husband enjoy many more together.
Guys don’t care about v day doesent mean more if he takes you out gets you flowers for no reason? V day is a corporate holiday. V day sucks. What about loving you and romancing you ten days from now.
I don’t get why this so called holiday means anything to anyone, it has no real purpose, you are saying you want a nice memory and it somehow has meaning because you have been together for a year?? Please its no different then any other day except some guy is expected to go out and create some unrealistic evening for his woman spending money that is not necessary…this holiday, if you can really call it that, is nothing more then a way to get into peoples pockets by retailers
You can have special evenings every night you’re together if you choose, you can make any night special, so why all the pressure about this one day?
Men aren’t good at these things either, they like to do things for their women because they WANT to not because a holiday says they have to.Everything I read in you statement in my opinion is wrong, and your expectations are unrealistic.
Okay i read like half of that. And what I read sounded pretty selfish. When you said that his gift wasn’t “on the same level” as yours… wow. Two Christmas’ ago, I bought my fiance a $800 laptop (it was on sale for that weekend only). Do you know what he got me? A heart necklace made with gold and TINY diamonds, worth about $200. And guess what? To this day I wear that necklace because I absolutely love it. Do you think I ever sat there and thought “This is NOT on my gift’s level”? No.
Gifts are overrated. I hate buying and receiving them. Why don’t yall just spend the day together, instead of blowing hundreds of dollars on presents. How about just a nice date? Yall are married, you shouldn’t be keeping track of who spends the most in the relationship…. it’s both of yalls money. thats just my opinion though.
Having the money doesn’t mean you REALLY have the money. Do you have 3 – 6 months of expenses (rent / mortgage / electricity etc.) saved in the bank, are you saving for retirement at a young age, are you socking 60K down for an eventually house mortgage (days of nothing down on a new house payment are coming to a close) etc.? Do you plan on having chidren, well you might want to start a college fund even prior to the birth.
At any rate, when your NOT a sentimental person, when Valentine’s day is nothing to you but a gimmick create by Hallmark (and other commercial entities) to sell products, when your wife has specific ideas of what she wants (but hasn’t been specific in her desires and the guy has to be a mind reader) the guy is royally screwed.
Pictures, scrapbooks. picture frames…those are female activities that GUYS didn’t do growing up as kids and its completely foreign to us. Jewelry..women (as you have proven) are incredibly picky over it and guys know it (or we think we know it). I’ve personally visited jewelry stores with my wife and I know she likes diamonds and a few other stones but when shopping with her when I point out certain diamonds / stones in a design I like she always pulled up her nose (its the right stone but jewelry is very personal). What my wife doesn’t realize is that by having me go with her looking at jewelry and pulling her nose up, I completely shut down ANY impulse to get her jewelry because of fear of getting her something she wasn’t going to like.
O.M.G. Valentines day is over rated. it is just a stupid day someone made up. My husband and i do not do valentines day. I do not understand why people make such a big deal about it.. i know my husband loves me and that is all that matters to me. if you love him you will appreciate what ever he gives you and love it. I am glad my husband does not waist his money on that day he does little special things for me all year long.
A startling quote from you: “. I am really not that difficult about it either.”
If that’s your honest assessment of yourself and the way you have behaved about your upcoming first Valentine’s Day together as husband and wife, then you are really quite, quite delusional.
I think the poor man has turned himself inside out trying to come up with some way to please you. But you are so incredibly critical.
Why can’t you just accept whatever gift or activity he has planned? It is a mark of his love for you … don’t make it such an overwhelming chore.
Wow. really?
His your husband, why can’t you just talk to him about it and tell him the truth?
It’s just Valentine’s Day.
Return his $300 gift & buy him a litter box. It would be funny. Or use the money for romantic spa day for the both of you. He probably won’t like it but at least you get something out of it.